So after alot of patience and preparation, me, my wife at the time and my daughters moved into our house. It took exactly 100 days to have built from the time the hole was dug to when we moved in.

     We got settled into that house pretty good. It was a goal we had since we bought our first place, to build one day. So here we were. I was 25 and had everything I had wanted.

     The kids were making friends and joined various activities through school. Their mom was very active in helping them out with their lives, as was I. But then something in me changed. I could feel it.

     After a year and half of being in the “perfect” place in life, I grew anxious. I felt I had nothing to do. No more goals. It seemed to have all happened so fast that when all our hard was over, I got disappointed.

     I grew restless. I was bored. I was looking for more of a pep in my life. My wife at the time seemed wrapped up in her life and happy. But I wasn’t.

     I wanted a change, some life. I was looking for a fire to have lit under me to feel alive. She did not understand, as I had tried to explain to her how I felt. We grew distant. I started to feel lonley.

     Then I was introduced to the internet. Her mom had just got a brand new computer in her house. This was something I had been asking to get for us, but we did not have the money for. But now I had access to one, finally.

     Her mom and stepdad showed us all sorts of sites and things that make up the internet. Soon after that, we would visit and I would ask if I could get on. I started to learn my way around the web. I also had an ear open to anything that had to do with anything about web surfing.

     I was hooked. It started to become an obsession with me. And what helped fuel it was that no one had said anything to me about always using it. My wife at the time, her mom and stepdad never asked me or made fun of me for always going online when we went over there.

     I started to spend the night over at their house two Sundays out of the month because we had her mom watch our girls and get them ready for school on the following Monday. I used to just drop them off and go home. Then I would get up early to go to work, but since her mom lived half way between our house and my work, I started to stay there to get my daughters to bed.

     Her parents had a spare bedroom in the basement. Also located in the basement was their computer. The temptation was immense. And I gave in every single time. Especially since I was there and access to it was easy, and no one seemed to care.

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August 2020


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