When people are in these chat rooms and they want to get into a private conversation with another individual, they invite them into a “private chat”. An invitation is sent and if accepted, the private chat commences.

     I was curious about these kinds of chats with people on a more one-on-one basis. So I tried it and I did this for a while to get experience and to see what people had to say. It was cool to chat with people from all over the country from different time zones, to see what teams they rooted for, and other subjects in which to shoot the breeze.

     While in one of these chats, I struck up a conversation with a girl from Nebraska. We started chatting about all kinds of things like where we were from, what we were doing up chatting so late, and what our interests were. It was innocent fun. I was having a good time with my new secret hobby.

     Unfortunately I had to cut the conversation short because I was on-call with work and I had got called in. It was in the middle of the night in winter. I remember being fired up with the conversation for the next few days afterward. She represented a release from my monotone, boring life.

     I knew better than to think this way. I had a wife, kids, a new house, but I was not happy. I was restless and I wanted something to be excited for. I had nothing to look forward to.

     But she represented what I wanted. The flame under my butt to get me moving. To make me feel alive again. To make me feel like a man again, not someone who had fulfilled all his goals so fast and early like I felt I did. I felt like I was burning out, but that one conversation made me feel alive.

     A week later I was back at my former in-laws to spend the night and be closer to work in case I got called into work again. My girls were asleep and so I went back to the basement. I got back on-line.

     I looked for her immediately. It took awhile to locate her, but I found her. Our conversation started off innocently once again, but thentook a turn fairly quickly. We started to get into the depths of what was really going on in our lives. I revealed my unhappiness as did she in her life.

     In the next few months after this very conversation, I learned that alot of people get on-line to get away from their real lives and just be themselves. They don’t want any ties.  Chatting on-line is just a place to be oneself and relax. This is exactly what I had got hung up on, and slowly I was forming a close friendship with another woman.

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August 2020


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