The back door opened and I heard someone say “let’s go”. In ran 2 dogs, a German Shepard and a black Labrador. I was freaked out. The back door closed back up and that was that. The dogs were surprised to see me as I was them.

     The story behind this was the neighbor lady sent them in because of something going on at her house. Weird, I know. But, this was Nebraska.

     I called the girl whose house I was at and found out where she worked. She gave me instructions. I took a shower and saw her at work. I drove around Omaha that day to take in the city, too. I actually stayed at her house for 4 nights, including the night I arrived.

     In the time I was there, I had talked to my wife at the time on the phone. I lied to her. I told her I was with a friend getting an old car in Idaho. I told her he found it on eBay. I told her since I knew he was going there and since she was mad, I just up and called him and we went.

     I could tell she was not buying the story. I knew it was bull, and being a terrible liar, I hardly comvinced myself. It was the first thing that came to my mind. It was probably the weakest and most unbelievable thing I had ever told anyone.

     The day before I left, my cell phone rang. It was my best friend. He asked me where I was. I didn’t answer hime right away. But he knew. He knew because I had told him about this girl and how I wanted to meet her. He wore me down and then I told him.

     It was at this moment that I started to feel like garbage. I knew that I was in a world of hurt. I knew that my life was never going to be the same anymore. I started to have an anxiety attack and I just wanted to get out of there.

     I didn’t though. We hung out that night, again, and I told her I would be going home in the morning. She was crushed because the next was Friday and she wanted to go out to a nice place for dinner and drink some beers.

     I told her that I had to go. I apologized and said I would come back in the summer. The next morning, as she got ready for work, I threw my clothes back into my truck and made my way back home.

     I had the most empty feeling inside me. I felt I had no one. I didn’t have her and I knew that within the next day I would not have a wife. The drive home was horrible. I felt as though I was going into hell. My own personal hell that I created.

     I didn’t need to go to Nebraska. I was selfish. I was not a man. I was only looking out for my own needs. I knew that I was about to destroy my family.

     I called my wife at the time several times through the drive home. I was calling to feel her out. To see how she doing, what kind of mood she was in. I could hear the hurt in her voice.

     As I pulled up into the driveway, I knew this was going to be difficult. I knew that I had to face the music. As I walked in, she was waiting for me. She didn’t need to say anything, her face said it all.

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August 2020


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