That night after the phone confrontation with my beast of a wife, and acknowledging to her that I was seeing someone, I went out with some friends and I got LOADED!!!

     I hammered alot of beer and then proceeded to drive home. I was parked in the far corner of the parking lot of the bar. I got into my Jeep and started to drive out.

     There was a lot of snow on the ground from the storm we had a few days earlier, so I followed a set of tracks, to what I thought was the driveway.

     As I drove, a set of headlights beaming from my passenger side blinded me, so I did the best I could to drive out of the lot, following those tire tracks.

     As I approached the street, I felt a big bump, and I realized I had driven off the damn curb and into the street!! This means some other fool did the same thing.

     Those headlights that I had just mentioned? That was the cops! They immediately followed me and pulled me over. So I pulled right back into the parking lot and stopped my Jeep and waited, and worried, and got angry at my beastly wife for this.

     I got mad at her for ruining my life, for making me miserable and driving me to cheat, to look for happiness from another woman, for ruining my credit, for discovering that I had cheated, for making me not wanna go home and get drunk with my friends, and now for getting pulled over.

     The policemen asked me a ton of questions, searched my vehicle, and made me nervous. I had to explain why my Jeep was in the far corner of the parking lot. That was a sign to them that the place was full earlier when I came, it was empty now.

     I had to lie to them about the number of drinks I had. I also explained why I was there. They said it sounded like I had alot of crap going on.

     They took my license and registration and told me to get back in my vehicle. I started to become irate at my asshole wife because now I was about to picked up for a DUI. Just then, the one officer came back and told me to be careful and then sped away with their lights flashing and siren blaring, off to an obviously more important call than my situation.

     I got lucky with that. I drove home, and ignored the cell phone after arguing with her and hanging up. I had purchased another cell phone earlier that day with my own number and account without her having anything to do with it. I was breaking free from her reign on my life.

     She was calling the number she knew and told me she was giving that phone to someone who needed it. So my buying a new cell and getting a new account worked out. I immediately agreed to give her the old one she so desperately wanted.

     She was surprised I had given in so easily. She told me I was a loser and that I would never, ever be able to get anything because my credit was ruined and no one would give me the chance.

     Ha ha! The joke was on her. I didn’t tell her of the new phone until the next morning.

     I got home and crashed on the couch. The next day would be moving day. I had the troops lined up with empty trucks and a willingness to get me out of that cave and away from the shit life I had and the shit marriage I was in.

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August 2020


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