Archive for the 'dreams' Category

Connecticut Dreamin’

     I have always wanted to move to Connecticut. For as long as I can remember, the east coast, eastern states look and feel and thought has always been very appealing to me.

     I have never been there, though. I have never been to somewhere that I would love to move to. I have this idea in my head about how Connecticut looks, how it feels, the weather, the people, the lifestyle, the communities. It seems so attractive to this Mid-Western boy, that I have even went as far as gathered information on housing, and jobs. But that was over ten years ago.

     I have seen movies, television shows, news and I have seen pictures on the internet and throughout my life of Connecticut, that have me wanting to move there. I believe everyone has their place they want to live, where they think they belong, and I know mine is Connecticut.

    Ten years ago, when I had seriously looked into moving there, I had decided that it just would not work out. I was established, here in Michigan, with my family, friends, and job. But maybe one day, when my bank account is stuffed, when my kids are grown, and when my wife and I start to hit the twilight of our lives, I may travel over there to see and feel, and realize that my Connecticut dream would be nothing but that, a dream.


Baby-Making With An IUI

     My wife and I are on a mission to make a baby. I have written, in this blog, all about our experiences during our journey to make a baby. We have had close calls, we had our hopes fade, and we have had disappointments. But then we would try again the following month, repeating this cycle.

     I am going to sum up the journey so far, and to get myself acquainted with what I have written, and not written, to this point.

     Fifteen months ago, I had a vasectomy reversal. It was a good decision because it gave my wife and I the chance to make a baby. We had decided to try right before we got married a year earlier. We were excited and willing to “do the do” on time, every month, like clockwork.

     So I got reversed, and a month later the trying began. Every month, according to my wife’s clock and her calendar and her “piss sticks” and most of all, her say-so, we tried.  It was fun for the first couple months. Then frustration set in. Then it became work. Never had I thought that having sex would be work and I would feel pressured.

     Along the way, I had taken in 3 sperm samples to see what my army of baby-makers were up to. I found out they were there. Plenty of them. Some 20 million of them. But they were slow, almost inactive, but they were there. And that’s what mattered because we were able to keep trying.

     Several months went by and my wife and I got to the point where we weren’t watching the calendar anymore. We were doing the deed when we wanted. We tried to take the pressure off. This didn’t work either.

     We talked to a urologist and got advise on what to try to do to help. This is where he hit us with trying IUI, intrauterine insemination. This is a procedure where, after I produce sperm sample, they take it out, and put it in my wife’s uterus.

     My wife was instructed to pay attention to her ovulation times of the month. She bought a First Response pregnancy kit, where she has to urinate on one and it tells her of her hormonal levels, also known as her LH surge. When it peaks, we are to come into the clinic the following day and they will perform the IUI.

     When her levels are high, she has an egg in her uterus. When the IUI is performed, sperm is shot into the uterus. This procedure, in real easy terms, is putting the boy in the same room as the girl without having him have to walk through the front door, walk down a hallway and enter her room. This procedure skips the journey and puts the boy in the same room immediately.

     This procedure was performed a week and a half ago. We are waiting to see if this works. I hope it does. My beautiful wife hopes it does, too. I know my sperm are slow and lazy. I refer to them as a bunch of fat, lazy kids playing video games while eating licorice. I hope that with them being put in the uterus with her egg will motivate them to move their asses and hook up and get my wife pregnant.

     I hope to have news in the next week or so. Until then, I will treat my wife as if she is “with child” by not letting her do any strenuous chores, although the doctor told her to go about living life the same as usual. But until we know, we will wait.

Aenima by Tool

     I would like to start this out by saying that I have always been in awe over the fact that California is a state, an entire body of densly populated land on fault lines, literally moving around.

    Actually they are moving northward. California is a state that is physically moving north, along the San Andreas Fault.

     And THIS is what has me mesmerized.

     The western part of California could actually crack off and fall into the ocean! I was in 6th grade when I learned this, and ever since, I have been wanting and waiting for it to happen. I have been wanting this to happen out of the sheer fascination on how cool it would be.

     Now fast forward about 11 years later. In 1996, the band Tool comes out with a disc named “Aenima”. This disc produced several hits like “Stinkfist” and “Forty six & 2” and then the song, “Aenima”.

     I used to listen to this song, I got the “learn to swim” lyrics in the song, but I never realized just exactly what it was that lead singer Maynard James Keenan was singing.

     Time went by, I kinda forgot about this song until about a year ago. I pulled the disc out and listened to it, then I got curious. What in the hell WERE they singing?

     They were singing about the very thing that I have been obsessed with! California, and of course, Los Angeles, falling away into the ocean. How crazy!

     But they added a little twist, which I have bought into whole-heartedly! Cleansing that part of the earth of bullshit people and all their materialistic lifestyles.

     If you go to, you can read just exactly what they are saying, just what exactly will happen, and how it will happen.

     Maynard, if you are reading this, I am praying for rain, too, my friend!

My Story…An FYI For Readers

     I have renamed my earlier posts to help readers follow My Story a little better. I had different names for these posts, but I realized that they are hard to find, and if the My Story posts seem strange or if someone is lost, I hope that by renaming the earlier ones will help fill in any holes or answer questions.

     My Story begins with the post “My Story…Part 1” and continues from there. I wish there was a way I could group them all together, but I can’t. Or I don’t know how. I am kinda computer handicapped.

     Thank you for the time spent reading my posts, and thank you for looking back into the beginnings of these. I hope this helps with My Story.

Picked The Bass Up Again

     I usually have this musical instrument always stored away neat and tidy in it’s case when I have no use for it. But lately I HAVE had use for it.

     Playing my bass is fun now that I have given up on the dream of being a rock n roll god. I bought it when I was 13 with money I saved up from being a paperBOY!!! (Remember those?)

     I have a Fender Squire and a Peavey amplifier that I have been rockin’ out on consistently for over a year now. I had them packed away for the longest time. Many years.

     I have a pretty well insulated basement that allows me to crank up the stereo with my iPod and I blare my amp and just jam! Nobody upstairs can really hear me, which is how I like it. They don’t get annoyed and I can just be left alone (with 20,000 imaginary fans screaming for me to take off my shirt and spit and sweat on).

     I know alot of Led Zepplin from my early years of playing because I always thought they were easy to figure out. But now I have recently added Marilyn Manson, Radiohead, Tom Petty, Judas Priest and The Cult, just to name a few, to my resume’.

     Before anyone comes filling up my inbox, I do not have any desire to play in your band. That dream is dead. I just do it now to enjoy myself and brag to my friends and in my posts that I can play songs that are heard on the radio.

     Now if you excuse me, I must go now go so I can suck back a fifth of Jose Cuervo, smash up my hotel room, do a line of cocaine, have sex with a groupie, and pass out on the bathroom floor while covered in my own vomit.

     Actually I’m off to bed. I have errands to run first thing in the morning then help my wife do housework and then spend the rest of the day with her and my kids.

How Sexy Would It Be If…

     some clothing designer like Donatella Versace, Donna Karan, or even Louis Vuitton invented a dress that was made of a material that was see-through. But, with a catch!

     The only was to be able see through these types of dresses is with a certain pair of sunglasses. Oakley, Ray-Ban, or Costa Del Mar makes polarized sunglasses for fishermen to see through water.

     The dresses would have to made of whatever kind of material that is “murky”, for lack of a better word, and appear normal to the average eye. Only people wearing polarized sunglasses would see the truth underneath.

     It’s just an idea. Hollywood is always having award shows and actresses and designers are always looking for the next “big fad”. I am just a normal, Midwestern guy, with an idea that will probably make someone millions and turn other people on.

     Sex sells, and there is always somebody looking to push the nudity envelope. This would be a real cool way to push it even further.

Train In My Dream

     This may sound weird, writing about a dream I had and all, but I had this really weird dream two nights ago and it does not make any sense.

     In my dream, I was hanging out with a buddy of mine during work hours, doing work stuff. He came to see what I was up to. I gave him his appropriate personal protective equipment and we walked through this fence where railroad tracks were.

     We walked over to a cement pad that was adjacent to the tracks so I could do some work. We knew a train was coming because the lights and bells were going off. So we stepped a little further back, away from the tracks.

    As we did this, the train came off the tracks, and headed straight for me. I made eye contact with the engineer. He was laughing, smoking a cigar, had curly, oily hair and a tanned, leather-like face, teeth were nasty.

     I remember yelling obscenities at him because he scared the crap out of me. Once he passed, he was able to get the train back onto the tracks and he disappeared into the distance.

     I called my boss to complain to him about the danger he just put me in. Once that call was made I was awaken by my wife to take to dog outside. End of dream.

     I looked up numerous websites to figure out the meaning of this dream and the train. One site said that if a train is seen it means I am conforming to what the crowd is doing. If it’s a freight train, it means I am carrying around problems.

     It was a freight train! So does that mean my problems are coming to get me and if I dont look out, am I going to get it?

     The site also says things about being on the train, being the engineer on the train, and missing the train. It sucks that no site I have found explains being hit, or nearly hit, by a train.

     If anyone can add something to this, I would greatly appreciate it. I have been thinking about this for 2 days now.

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