Archive for the 'life' Category

Connecticut Dreamin’

     I have always wanted to move to Connecticut. For as long as I can remember, the east coast, eastern states look and feel and thought has always been very appealing to me.

     I have never been there, though. I have never been to somewhere that I would love to move to. I have this idea in my head about how Connecticut looks, how it feels, the weather, the people, the lifestyle, the communities. It seems so attractive to this Mid-Western boy, that I have even went as far as gathered information on housing, and jobs. But that was over ten years ago.

     I have seen movies, television shows, news and I have seen pictures on the internet and throughout my life of Connecticut, that have me wanting to move there. I believe everyone has their place they want to live, where they think they belong, and I know mine is Connecticut.

    Ten years ago, when I had seriously looked into moving there, I had decided that it just would not work out. I was established, here in Michigan, with my family, friends, and job. But maybe one day, when my bank account is stuffed, when my kids are grown, and when my wife and I start to hit the twilight of our lives, I may travel over there to see and feel, and realize that my Connecticut dream would be nothing but that, a dream.

Tipped Her On The Looks Of Her Ass

     I went to our local restaurant tonight to pick up dinner tonight. It was the type of restaurant where they run your food out to you after calling in your order on the phone. It’s fast, it’s easy, and you get the dinner without having to eat there. You can eat it in your own house.

     That’s what makes Applebee’s so convenient.

     As I sat and waited for my turn in the parking spaces provided for the drivers, I had the luxury of watching the one chick running food and money back and forth, in and out of the restaurant. Then I noticed something. Her ass.

     She had a pair of pants on that accentuated her ass. Tight, low-cut jeans that gripped her buns and kept it looking firm and fit.

     I watched her as she ran to and fro. Then it was my turn. She handed my food to me, I paid her, and I think I tipped her more for her ass than I was going to tip her.

     Which makes me ask this, do these women wear these types of clothes to haul in more in tips?

     I live in Michigan. It just snowed seven inches last night and today. It’s cold out. So us Michiganders don’t have the luxury of year-round, scantily clothed people. She was not wearing shorts, or a bikini, or a pair of spandex. These were just jeans.

     Do people tip these waiters and waitresses for how they look? What if she was ugly? What if she was a lardass? What if she had a horrible body? What if she had a nasty attitude?

     What if she was wearing a see-through shirt, where her nipples were busting through just enough to make one question if they saw what they think they saw? What if she had pants on to show cameltoe? What if she was flirty?

     Would I have tipped her any different for any of the above reasons? Maybe. Maybe not. How about you? What do you think?

Grandpa

     I think I may have walked into his room too fast. Too fast to prepare myself for what I had gone there for. It’s as if I purposely threw myself into his room as if I was peeling a band-aid off real fast.

     When I walked into my Grandpa’s room, I saw him laying in his bed. Sleeping. His mouth open, breathing in air, and exhaling. In a rhythmnic way. He had an eye half open, the other was closed. It was as if he was watching the room, but yet he appeared to be asleep, like I remember him sleeping on his favorite chair in the livingroom of his house when I was a kid.

     My grandpa was a big, strong man. Wide shoulders, thick arms, solid body and head full of hair. Not in recent years. Especially not today. Grandpa is all bones now. I had just seen him a couple days earlier. He was thin, of course, but certainly not like this. I don’t know how, but it’s as if he lost even more weight.

     He lay on his bed, in a sack of skin and bones. His ribs clearly outlined in his button-down flannel shirt. His pelvis was visible, as he was holding the bottom of his shirt in his soft fists. His hands were bruised from ivies and shots he received from the past few weeks. Those bruises never healed. His hands, which were big and thick and strong, have given in to age, and deterioration of health, were not my Grandpa’s hands anymore. He is not himself anymore. His age and his dying body now has the best of him.

     My Grandpa lived a healthy, long life. My Grandma passed away just under three years ago. My Grandpa is the last of his generation in my family. He outlived his brothers and sister. He was one of the oldest in his family, and he lived the longest. I think my Grandma has alot to do with it. She kept him in line. She kept him eating healthy. She kept his heart and his affection. She was his beloved wife. She took care of him.

     As I write this, I am saddened that he passed away a few hours ago. I started to write this last night, but could not finish. I loved my Grandpa and my Grandma very much. I wish I had spent more time with them than I did. But I spent alot of time with them nontheless. I have loads of fond memories of times with them. Now they are gone. It’s strange that I lived as long as I have with Grandparents. Most of my friends lost their’s long ago.

     Now they are in a better place. Reunited with loved ones. I know they are having fun. I know they are giving each other those kisses that made me feel funny to see. And I know the family will be ok. Because they will watch over us all, and all will be fine.

Baby-Making With An IUI

     My wife and I are on a mission to make a baby. I have written, in this blog, all about our experiences during our journey to make a baby. We have had close calls, we had our hopes fade, and we have had disappointments. But then we would try again the following month, repeating this cycle.

     I am going to sum up the journey so far, and to get myself acquainted with what I have written, and not written, to this point.

     Fifteen months ago, I had a vasectomy reversal. It was a good decision because it gave my wife and I the chance to make a baby. We had decided to try right before we got married a year earlier. We were excited and willing to “do the do” on time, every month, like clockwork.

     So I got reversed, and a month later the trying began. Every month, according to my wife’s clock and her calendar and her “piss sticks” and most of all, her say-so, we tried.  It was fun for the first couple months. Then frustration set in. Then it became work. Never had I thought that having sex would be work and I would feel pressured.

     Along the way, I had taken in 3 sperm samples to see what my army of baby-makers were up to. I found out they were there. Plenty of them. Some 20 million of them. But they were slow, almost inactive, but they were there. And that’s what mattered because we were able to keep trying.

     Several months went by and my wife and I got to the point where we weren’t watching the calendar anymore. We were doing the deed when we wanted. We tried to take the pressure off. This didn’t work either.

     We talked to a urologist and got advise on what to try to do to help. This is where he hit us with trying IUI, intrauterine insemination. This is a procedure where, after I produce sperm sample, they take it out, and put it in my wife’s uterus.

     My wife was instructed to pay attention to her ovulation times of the month. She bought a First Response pregnancy kit, where she has to urinate on one and it tells her of her hormonal levels, also known as her LH surge. When it peaks, we are to come into the clinic the following day and they will perform the IUI.

     When her levels are high, she has an egg in her uterus. When the IUI is performed, sperm is shot into the uterus. This procedure, in real easy terms, is putting the boy in the same room as the girl without having him have to walk through the front door, walk down a hallway and enter her room. This procedure skips the journey and puts the boy in the same room immediately.

     This procedure was performed a week and a half ago. We are waiting to see if this works. I hope it does. My beautiful wife hopes it does, too. I know my sperm are slow and lazy. I refer to them as a bunch of fat, lazy kids playing video games while eating licorice. I hope that with them being put in the uterus with her egg will motivate them to move their asses and hook up and get my wife pregnant.

     I hope to have news in the next week or so. Until then, I will treat my wife as if she is “with child” by not letting her do any strenuous chores, although the doctor told her to go about living life the same as usual. But until we know, we will wait.

Look Who’s Back!

After being gone for a very long time, I have got up off my ass and decided to put a new post on my blog!

I have been busy with this and that and staying away for far too long. I read other people’s posts in the past who said they were gone for long periods of time and I thought to myself  “how can you not post daily? This is addicting!” and now I know why.  Let me give a few examples of what has had my attention.

First of all I got addicted to friggin’ Twitter! Damn that site! It got to the point I was on daily checking out what was being said by the people I was following. I held conversations with them and I even went way overboard with my own “Tweets” and I got to say, that was a lot of fun. But that ended.

Second, I got off Twitter and onto Facebook! Holy crap! Let me just say that it was, and still is, an awesome site! I am still hooked on it, and I still go to it several times a day. It’s a lot like Twitter, except the people you follow and have follow you KNOW EACH OTHER unlike Twitter where it’s full of strangers and celebrities who don’t really give a crap about you.

Facebook has reconnected me to people I had long forgot about. I got on that site through a friend I Googled. I went to grade school with him and when I found him, he talked me into getting on FB. So I did. And it went from there.

Unfortunately a lot of old friends are not on there, but enough are and it made for some great conversations and reminiscing. I am having a ball on that site.

Thirdly I am busy with life. Whether I am running around with my kids, hanging with my wife, or working, running, or watching sports on TV. It has kept my time and my attention.

I am attempting to get back here on good ol’ WordPress and tell stories of experiences and complain about other things as well, because, Baby, I am just about warmed up. So heads up!!

Ain’t That Some Shit?

     Do something really bad and then get rewarded for it when in all actually a serious price needs to be paid.

     And the icing on the cake? All parties involved see nothing wrong with this!!

     Ain’t that some shit?!?!

This Winter Is Taking Forever

     I am the first person to quickly admit that I love winter. I love the cold. I love the snow. I love the coziness of the house.

     But this winter seems to be very long this season. More so than usual.

     I have been shoveling snow almost daily. I wrap myself up in layers of clothes to work and run outside. I even get up early to start my wife’s car and clean her windows off before she leaves for work.

     But now I am about to complain about this winter.

     I have been getting up extra early to fight the snow-covered freeways on my 40 mile commute to work. They don’t get plowed as often as they have in the past due to our state being in a financial crisis and the counties cutting back on expenses. Obviously the plow trucks are included.

     I am amused by people who work just minutes from home, if they work at all, and hear them bitch about the winter and the driving.

     Why are they complaining? Where do they earn the right to complain? They don’t do shit!!

     But I realize this is only January. We are in the middle of the coldest period this season. The temperature is supposed to dive down under zero tonight.

     I will wait this out. I will enjoy it when I am home and not having to go out in it and I will cuddle extra close to my wife during these cold nights.

     I just hope spring doesn’t take too long getting here.

     That damn groundhog better not see his damn shadow, that’s all I got to say!

What Do You Mean I’m Too Big?!?!

     I hurt my elbow at work last week and I filed paperwork about it with my supervisor, just to cover my ass in case it’s seriously screwed up.

     He asked me if I would be interested in seeing the company physical therapist before I go to the clinic. You see, people who get hurt immediately wanna run to the clinic and work it so they can have time off.

     I’m not like that. I wanted to try to “walk it off”. But it continued to hurt, right through the weekend. So I agreed to go see the physical therapist, who I went to today.

     He asked me several questions about how I hurt it, what kind of work I been doing since I hurt it, then he asked me what I do outside of work as far as keeping in shape.

     I told him that I run and that I am working on training to run in another marathon.

     Then he hit me with…

     “You’re too big big to be a runner!”

     What the hell?

    Here are my measurements. I stand at 6’4″ and I weigh 225. I am not fat, I have been losing weight in the past 3 months that I have been running again, and I am determined to drop more pounds and add up more miles.

     But his comment threw me for a loop! Who the hell is he to say such a thing? I ran a marathon, I ran cross country in high school, and I was All-State in track!

     Too big?

     He said that taller and bigger people aren’t made for running. Something about the knees. I know this. I have fought off a few knee problems, a few ankle problems, and I came out all right.

     This is just going to make my determination even stronger to prove, to yet another person, that I can do this.

     By the way, he gave me some exercises to work out my elbow problem and it’s starting to feel better already.

The Next Industry To Ask For A Bailout Is…

     …going to surprise you. It is an industry that we all think is doing well because we Americans need some kind of entertainment, some kind of stress release, some kind of get-away from the real world for just one day.

     But if I say who it is, will we really be surprised?

     The banks got money to help them out. The Big 3 asked and received, and then the porn industry asked, and their answer is not out yet.

     I believe the amusement park industry is next!

     Cedar Point, Six Flags, Frontier City, and even Disneyland are just a few who I think will be asking for a bailout.

     If people can’t afford to buy the basic things in life, why would they spend an average of  over two hundred dollars per family of four, to spend a day getting thrown around on roller coasters, getting wet in a thunderous river, or eating countless pounds of cotton candy and hot dogs?

     I just expect the amusement park, or theme park, industry to go next. This is what I’m putting my money on.

     If I had some to bet.

Porn Industry Is Seeking A Bailout

     That’s correct! The multi-billion dollar  money machine, we all are very familiar with, is seeking a bailout from the U.S. government, now too.

     First the U.S. government bailed out the banks by tossing them billions of dollars to keep the whole economic world from crashing down upon itself. No questions were asked, no committees were put together, the U.S. just threw the money at them and said go away.

     Then the Big 3 came to the U.S. government asking them for a bailout, which we now learned is just a huge-ass loan.

     The Big 3 were raked over the coals by Congress. The Big 3 were grilled for the way they spent their money, and were pounded on how they planned to pay the multi-billion dollar loan back.

     Now the porn industry is knocking on the U.S. government door, asking for a $5 billion bailout. Just three years ago, according to a website I found  at http://www.ajc.com, the porn industry made $18 billion!

     That’s a whole lot of orgasms!

     It makes you wonder who will be asking for a bailout next, especially if people trying to find that moment of relaxation and pleasure, aren’t supporting an industry we thought was well off for getting us off.


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