Posts Tagged 'Christmas'

Hmmm….

     Isn’t it nice that the weather is finally changing from that terrible heat to cooler autumn days?

     Isn’t it great that football season has finally began?

     Isn’t it ridiculous that cigarettes are so unhealthy yet such a hard habit to break?

     Is it really a surprise that the Detroit Lions suck again?

     Is it a fire-able offense when talking to a fellow co-worker on personal cell phones during work hours and calling that person a racial slur when the person next to that person is of that race and can hear what was said?

     Doesn’t it suck that there aren’t that many hours in the day?

     Doesn’t it suck that the day doesn’t end fast enough?

     Isn’t it crazy that in 15 weeks Christmas will be upon us?

     Do we really spend enough time with our kids?

     Don’t you wish we could stop time and keep our kids at the age they are at so they don’t have to deal with the real world and you can keep them safe forever?

     Is it really that big of a deal that Vice-Presidential nominee Sarah Palin’s daughter is pregnant and not married?

     Is that big a deal that Tom Brady hurt his knee and is out for the rest of the season?

     How old is too old to start a rock band?

     Is it ok to believe that you are going to have sex with your spouse years from now when you’re both old and wrinkled up?

Target And Men Do Not Mix

     Every man who has a wife or girlfriend knows exactly where I am going with this post. Just as every woman who has ever dragged a man into a Target store knows just how excrutiating it is to have her man go there with her who wants absolutley nothing to do with that place.

     I am speaking from experience, stories gathered from other men, and just watching other men’s body language (slumped shoulders, dragging feet, and drool) while I have been there the last few times.

     We don’t like being there. We think it’s a never ending maze of HELL!! It has everything in there that makes women stop down every aisle. Bathroom linens, bedroom linens, clothes, books, a mini supermarket, toys, furniture, and knick-knack things that makes a woman want to get every one of because they are so sure they can find something to do with it.

     Let’s not forget about the seasonal sections they shove in that place. Christmas, Easter and Halloween junk. Tons of it. So many things to choose from if you wanna decorate your house. And my wife makes absolute sure she looks at all of it. Every item.

     I don’t like going there with my wife because we stop at every section. We enter the doors and right away I want to turn right around. I feel a sense of needing to take a nap. For some reason that place makes me extremely sleepy.

     We enter the front doors and it’s right straight to the women’s clothes. She hims and hawns over the seasonal clothing. Then it’s over to the shoes. These two stops are a given. Then were off to no man’s land! She just wanders and wanders. It doesn’t matter how much I complain, or try to hurry her up, or how fast I push the cart (stupid red cart) I won’t make speed up the shopping experience.

     There are three cool areas of that store. The sporting goods, the media section, and the electronics. Those are men friendly. It’s like Mr. Target, or George Dayton, or whoever owned Target when it originally opened, knew men would be dragged in that place by their wives and they needed to add a little something to make it less agonizing.

     I do, however, like going there when I am on a mission all by myself. I know exactly where to go (thanks to the many trips with my wife) to get what I am after. I grab what I went there for and I can quickly go through one of the many checkout counters and be back in my car within minutes.

     It’s not a bad place to shop for a man when he is alone. And I understand why women love that place so much that it’s an addiction. But when a man, a woman and Target meet, it’s absolute HELL for the man!


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