Posts Tagged 'divorce'

My Story…Part 38

     My second wife worked in an industry where she had received her bachelor’s degree. It was in a field where she helped people. She jumped from job to job and workplace to workplace. She was constantly looking on line for her next job, even right after she had got a new one.

     She had told me that she met a woman, in the same field, who made a ton of money. She had a virtual empire in the county where we lived. So my greedy ex thought she would tap into that field and make the kind of money her “idol” made.

     It was quickly obvious to me that this was not a money maker she made it out to be. She never built up enough credentials in one place and she was sometimes unemployed because things “didn’t work out” for her.

     I could only work so many hours a week. Overtime was a rarity and money was always tight. If we were lucky enough to have any.

     We were always hiding our Durango in the garage because the bank constantly called to repo it. We were not making our house payments. We were not paying her dad frequently enough either.

     At one point I was on the phone with him explaining to him, again, that we could not afford anything and we were not paying for anything, and how he should have never have pushed us to buy that house.

     He was amazed by the news he heard. Apparently he was being lied to. Imagine that! He said to do what we could and I told him we were heading for bankruptcy.

     Bankrutpcy was the LAST thing I wanted to do. But the new law was nearing for how bankruptcies were going to be handled, so I felt I had no other choice. We HAD to file.

     I was mad as hell about doing it, but we hired a lawyer and it was on. I thought that after this was over, I was going to divorce her. At least I would have a “new beginning” with a clean slate of credit.

     I entered this marriage with sterling credit. Those days were long gone. Creditors constantly called, the Durango was in trouble, the mortgage was never paid.

     We tried to make deals with these places, but that no use. After the second payment in these new deals, we were right back where we started, broke, and not paying for anything.

     So the bankruptcy was our final move. We filed everything EXCEPT the Durango and the house. We went to court, then waited the few months for the finalization and the our credit was wiped clean. But it was severely bruised.

     I felt like a loser. The only thing that kept my head up was that I knew I was done with this beast of a wife. I entered the marriage with great credit, and now I was firm to not let her get anything anymore.

     She had told me that she never wanted a divorce, that anything can be worked out, and that we were to be together forever.

     For the last year of the marriage, I had other ideas. And I made it very obvious to her that I wanted out, and I would do whatever I needed to do to get out and as far from that beast as I could.

My Story…Part 32

     I took one of my daughters to her soccer game where I started to talk to the opposing coach. We were the first ones to arrive at the field and no one else was around.

     I struck up the conversation with innocent talk about the game, how the season was going and how the kids were having fun. It was small talk until this coach turned it into her personal information.

     She started to pour out all this stuff about how bad her life was the past few days. Her boyfriend, who was also the father of her daughter, pushed her around and the cops came, and he was arrested out in the street without shoes, blah blah, blah.

     I felt kind of sorry for her, and embarrassed because we were total strangers, so I started to tell her about some of the stuff I had recently been through. By the end of the soccer games, I had got her phone number.

     She had asked me for mine, which I promptly gave her my cell number. She then asked for my house phone number. I thought that was a peculiar question, but I gave her that too. I later asked her what that was all about and she said it was a trust issue. She did not trust me.

     We talked for the next few days on the phone. But something had happened that was a sign that I should have run away from and never looked back. But I didn’t. We got into an argument over some small thing.

     I talked to a buddy of mine about it and we had a good laugh. This chick I had just met and never hung out with, got into an argument with me. He told me to run. What I did was not call her for a day or two. She called me. And apologized.

     I gave in and accepted her apology. This was the first of all the stupid moves I would make for the next 4 years of my life. This period of my life could be a bestseller if I ever wanted to make time and write it all out. But on here, I will give quick details of the hell I went through, emotionally, financially, and sometimes physically.

     Why didn’t I run? Because I felt I needed to prove to everyone I knew that I could be marriage material. That I wanted to prove that I could be faithful in a marriage and I didn’t want to be alone. I have since learned that these are things that make up a destructive lifestyle, when you have to prove things to people. When you actually care about what others think.

     I have grown up alot and learned invaluable lessons in life since my first divorce back in 2002. This fsecond marriage was a total smack in the back of the head and a wake up call.


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