Vasectomy Reversal…Updated

     Well I am in my final last few days of being sterile. I went to the doctor last week Tuesday to meet him, and have him explain to me exactly what’s going to happen.

     We dove over to the other side of Michigan, my wife and me, to meet the doctor, and to show my wife the way home because I will be unable to drive once I am done. I have my nerves all calmed down, and I am just nervous for the actual day. The procedure of the vasectomy reversal will be a piece of cake, according to the doctor.

     We sat in a room with him and he told us what exactly is going to happen. He will give me a little dose of Xanax. He says that this will make me extremely sleepy. He said 2/3 of the men usually fall asleep, so he encouraged me to bring my iPod while I am being operated on for the 1-1/2 hour procedure.

     He will give me 3 shots. One shot into each side of my scrotum, into my tubes that support my testes. Then one more shot directly into my scrotum to numb up the entire area. Everything will be numb and tired and I won’t feel a thing.

     Then he will make one cut into my scrotum to open up and make access to each side to perform the reversal. He said he does several of these a week and it’s easy to do, whereas if he didn’t do them as often, the procedure may take longer.

     Then when I am done and more aware of my surroundings, he told me to stop at the gas station down the road and get a cup and fill it with ice and have that sit between my legs for the ride home.

     My wife will be doing the driving, so I hope that Xanax will still keep my woozy until we get home. I don’t want that ride to seem like forever.

     The doctor also said that we can’t try to get pregnant until a month after the operation. Until then, I will need to ejaculate the 4th day after the operation, and every other day from then on, if not more. Knowing me, it will probably be every day. This is to keep the tubes open and prevent them from scarring closed.

     After that first month, I need to bring in a sample of my sperm and they will be able to tell if the army is fit for duty.

     It sounds like a piece of cake, doesn’t it? Well I hope so. The operation is next week Friday. I have 12 days of shooting blanks. 12 days with my boys being harmless. 12 days of nerves building. 12 days of anxiety to just get it reversed and get the baby-making days going.

Picked The Bass Up Again

     I usually have this musical instrument always stored away neat and tidy in it’s case when I have no use for it. But lately I HAVE had use for it.

     Playing my bass is fun now that I have given up on the dream of being a rock n roll god. I bought it when I was 13 with money I saved up from being a paperBOY!!! (Remember those?)

     I have a Fender Squire and a Peavey amplifier that I have been rockin’ out on consistently for over a year now. I had them packed away for the longest time. Many years.

     I have a pretty well insulated basement that allows me to crank up the stereo with my iPod and I blare my amp and just jam! Nobody upstairs can really hear me, which is how I like it. They don’t get annoyed and I can just be left alone (with 20,000 imaginary fans screaming for me to take off my shirt and spit and sweat on).

     I know alot of Led Zepplin from my early years of playing because I always thought they were easy to figure out. But now I have recently added Marilyn Manson, Radiohead, Tom Petty, Judas Priest and The Cult, just to name a few, to my resume’.

     Before anyone comes filling up my inbox, I do not have any desire to play in your band. That dream is dead. I just do it now to enjoy myself and brag to my friends and in my posts that I can play songs that are heard on the radio.

     Now if you excuse me, I must go now go so I can suck back a fifth of Jose Cuervo, smash up my hotel room, do a line of cocaine, have sex with a groupie, and pass out on the bathroom floor while covered in my own vomit.

     Actually I’m off to bed. I have errands to run first thing in the morning then help my wife do housework and then spend the rest of the day with her and my kids.

iPhone? No Thanks!

     I saw the iPhone and you know what? I don’t need it! I don’t need the added expense to my cell phone bill. I’m not made of money.

     Oh I have a cell phone. And I have an iPod. But I don’t have them both in the same device. I don’t want it. I don’t need it.

     If I wanna make a call AND listen to music at the same time I can. I don’t want the added work it takes to have my music turned off when I am yakking away just to have to put the music back on again when I hang up.

     I admit, that I do, however, have an iPod Touch. It is the greatest device in the world in my opinion! It stores songs, videos, pictures, is capable of internet access, and can do just about anything I need it to do.

     I have upgraded from the iPod Shuffle, where I couldn’t see what song I wanted to hear, to the iPod Touch where I can see just about anything from song titles, playlists, even album covers! It’s the greatest thing in the world!

     But like I said, I don’t see why anyone would need an iPhone. if you already have a cell and some kind of mp3 player, why get this? It’s not worth the extra money and aggravation. 

     But this is just my opinion. And you know what they say about opinions.